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TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Wednesday 18th February 2009 11:22am for Chapter 17 — Traitorous Servants

Good chapter.


Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you kindly.

Lady Alchymia

Infin1x posted a comment on Saturday 5th April 2008 11:32pm for Chapter 17 — Traitorous Servants

I wasn't as clear in the last review as I had hoped. What I was referring to was that when canon Harry and so far this Harry do when they have a problem seems to be 1.sulk/brood 2.Go off to do something stupid 3. Get pissed off and throw a tantrum; some combination of these is always his reaction.

When face to face with danger he is fine CoS, TriWiz, Return of Vold etc he isn't especially skilled or decisive but he gets the job done.

The biggest angst/emo/melodramatic crap comes when Harry has to deal with any type of feelings; Sirius' death, jealousy over Ginny ("monster in his chest" line was the single most vomit inducing thing in a long list of vomit inducing crap that was the later books)

and his relationship with Cho is infuriating, the relationship is a self destructive masochistic mess yet he keeps going back for more. If we don't find out that he was under some kind of compulsion whether it be potions or something else then I will have to find a way to throttle him

It's really up to you to take the fact that your portrayal of Harry reminds me so much of canon; albeit the parts of canon that made me want to stop reading the series; as a compliment or not.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thanks for clarifying.   I like to think my Harry is sympathetic to canon in terms of his reactions to differing stimuli, so thanks!

I know that a good many readers crave to see Harry throw off his philosophical acceptance of his lot in life and instead have him become a  highly trained Hit-Wizard -- and I must concede the 'monster in the chest' references in HBP were not faves of mine either -- but I actually  relish the Harry-as-Philosopher in the books.   I get what Rowling did in making him go through escalating  trials and failures (and the accompanying self-doubt, anger, and moodiness), distilling the impurities of his character until the pivotal point when he can choose a selfless  death --  I was deeply satisfied with the man he became (though I find it hard to forgive him naming one of his sons Albus Severus :-) ).   But right now, in Awakenings, he is just barely 16, so he is smack dab in the middle of Rowling's picking-up-the-pieces and self-doubt phase for her hero, and so that's where I want him to be too.

As for Cho in  canon ... She isn't my favourite character by a long shot, but  I don't actually hate Cho, and I don't think Harry ever did either.   He made mistakes, she made mistakes, but there was a physical attraction there.   Cedric's death ultimately doomed them, but so too did the simple fact that Harry and Cho never really had a friendship of any great depth.   Without Cedric in the equation, their attraction to each other might well have grown into a  more substantial  teen-romance, but not very much more, I would have thought.

As for Cho and Harry in Awakenings ... I chose to let the  physical attraction recur -- simple as that, and I'm giving them an opportunity to become friends as well as a romantic couple.   The story question then, for me to depict, is to see if they are any good as friends, and, as we saw from the party, they're not really doing too well, always butting heads with jealousy and insecurity about the other.   The first time (the first major time during the summer) when Harry and Cho truly act with deep friendship in mind, putting the other person first, was during the recent  hospital trauma, and neither are going to forget it how the other helped them, but whether they can hold it together as a romantic couple is another question altogether.

Thanks for sharing your feedback,

Lady A

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Saturday 5th April 2008 12:06pm for Chapter 17 — Traitorous Servants

As much as I hate snape, I have to go with the answer from PS - he does seem the type, but it probably wasn't him. I'd guess Mundingus, but it could be someone completely unexpected, like Hestia.

OK, enough guessing.

The nightmare journey was pretty interesting. It was also pretty confusing. Was Lockhart really "blown up?" Was Harry successful in luring the death eaters away from the various nightmares, and what did he do with them?

Thanks for the update. Love the story. Still wondering what happened between Remus and his wife. It seems like even she isn't sure.

Tom A.

Lady Alchymia replied:

*snickers* Yes, the very fact of me setting Snape up means it probably won't be him, but then again maybe I'm messing with you and it will be.   You'll find out soon!   (But your guesses aren't far off :-) ).

Remus and his wife split up ten years ago for reasons that will unfold during the remainder of the summer.   It's obvious that there is still a strong bond there, but they are very unsure of  how to act around the other--they've been separated a very long time.

You're not the only one I confused with the nightmare journey LoL.   I've now tweaked a few sentences here and there to clarify what's going on.   The paragraph starting "Harry hung about only long enough to enjoy Donna getting a thorough dressing down from Healer Dee ..." has some new bits, and there's a few more lines in that passage clarifying what happened when Harry pulled the night terrors away from Alice.   And poor Lockhart!   Yes he did get blown-up in a balloon sense, but he didn't explode like a bomb.   And there's a few edits in that sentence about him being punctured by Donna.

On the general topic of the 'other minds' Harry meets, I sent an email to someone else on the topic, which I'll copy here:

On disembodied spirits: no, they’re not dead, just insane.   I’ve taken the Muggle idea of there being this unseen world that is desperately real to the mentally ill, and then put a Wizarding spin on it.   If you were in a Muggle Psych ward, you’d have patients hearing voices, or having hallucinations, or generally being ‘not right in the head’.   In my story, then, I’m playing with the idea of what it means to be a Wizard and to be losing your mind.   I’m not saying that Harry is losing his mind, just that I decided to make mental illness in the Wizarding World take on a kind of physicality that supports canon plot points like Dementors being able to conjure your worst memories against your will, and to separate your soul from your body, and also plot points relating to how Wizards can choose to extract thoughts from their head to put into pensieves (and create false memories).   Just like accidental magic in Harry turning his teachers’ hair blue, or apparating on top of a roof (when he was little), or blowing up Aunt Marge, I wanted to explore what happens when a Wizard is ill and can no longer control his thoughts.

Hope that helps clarify things :).

Thanks for your feedback, Tom!   Most helpful!

Lady A

Aelita posted a comment on Saturday 5th April 2008 5:59am for Chapter 17 — Traitorous Servants

Love it but this chapter went by so fast! I can't wait for you to update again!

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you kindly!

Lady A

PadyandMoony posted a comment on Saturday 5th April 2008 2:53am for Chapter 17 — Traitorous Servants

It's always Snape! That's a given1 Everything is his fault!LOL!
Kidding, great chapter!

Lady Alchymia replied:

It really is always Snape, isn't it? LoL

Many thanks!

Lady A

Infin1x posted a comment on Saturday 5th April 2008 2:27am for Chapter 17 — Traitorous Servants

Please, oh please reassure me that there is light at the end of this angst tunnel, that someone is going to backhand some backbone into Harry, and drop kick the emo out.

Lady Alchymia replied:

I must admit, I don't really understand what you're asking.   I get the emo ref (I think), in that the chapter had a lot of shouting and anger, but I don't understand the lack of backbone part.   Harry's primary scenes in this chapter are: yelling at Kreacher and taking savage pleasure in making him feel pain and guilt over Sirius' death; searching for Frank Longbottom and defending Alice from being terrorised; refusing to be caught up by Lockhart and hurling bad memories at him in order to break free; and then blowing up at Remus about there being a traitor in the Order.   I concede  it's all rather melodramatic, but I don't get how it means that Harry has  no backbone; he's sticking up for himself and for the people he cares about.   And that isn't going to change any time soon.   However, I can confide that the next chapter does have a wee bit of  comic relief.


Lady A

DrT posted a comment on Saturday 5th April 2008 1:37am for Chapter 17 — Traitorous Servants

If I hadn't read the first version, I'd be really worried about <spoiler removed>


Lady Alchymia replied:

Quite so!

Patches posted a comment on Saturday 5th April 2008 1:18am for Chapter 17 &mdash; Traitorous Servants

Wow this is really quite an involved story. It is really sad that Elizabeth and Remus are misunderstanding each other. They really love each other and think the other doesn't anymore. That is sad. I hope that gets resolved soon. Harry's soul wandering around in his sleep is a problem though. I hope that gets resolved too. Of course Voldemort always has to cause more strife. I'll be glad when he is gone for good too! Thanks for writing. pms

Lady Alchymia replied:

It is a rather involved story, thank you :).   Remus and Elizabeth's situation is ... complicated, but we shall be learning much more before the summer is  over.   Harry would agree with you; he hasn't had a good night's sleep for days and he's really feeling it!   Coming up he will get some help there from an unexpected source.

Kind regards,

Lady A

beauty01021 posted a comment on Friday 4th April 2008 10:16pm for Chapter 17 &mdash; Traitorous Servants

yeah great chapter can't wait for more so please update agian and soon.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you.