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Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 1:47pm

As much as I totally loved the first version, this version is awesome! I find the new way of Harry contacting Elizabeth much better in this version. <spoiler removed>

I look forward to reading more!

Lady Alchymia replied:

I'm really pleased you like it, thank you.  It's very true that there's a lot of misdirection going on in that passage Wink.

PadyandMoony posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 5:00am

I really liked the changes! The fight with Remus was a lot more intense than on V1. And Harry corresponding with Elizabeth not knowing who she is is perfect. I can just imagine Elizabeth reading it.
"Dear Madam Ramsay," Oh my. Such a formal young man!

Lady Alchymia replied:

PadyandMoony: "I really liked the changes! The fight with Remus was a lot more intense than on V1."

**
Thank you very much indeed! The fight--yeah, that was not a happy experience for either of them Toungue. I really enjoyed (should I admit this?) making their conflict a good deal more fraught. You know, I guess it's from me just being a Muggle, but when Harry originally stormed off to his bedroom (because he tried but couldn't get out of the house through the locked front door), I merely imagined him bouncing off the walls in his room, feeling imprisoned and impotent. When I got to the re-write, it suddenly occurred to me to remember that he had a broomstick!

Harry being devastated (which was pretty much as before) but then disappearing like that, plus smashing Sirius's guitar and forgetting his wand and so on, gave Remus an opportunity to really comprehend just how much he (Remus) had lost and how badly he had screwed up.
**


PadyandMoony: "And Harry corresponding with Elizabeth not knowing who she is is perfect. I can just imagine Elizabeth reading it.
"Dear Madam Ramsay," Oh my. Such a formal young man!"

**
I must say, I did have fun writing those bits, knowing that everyone who was re-reading would know perfectly well what was going on, but that new readers (hopefully) wouldn't read too much into it other than realising that Madam Ramsay is obviously an OC who will have some kind of significance later on.

I haven't gotten as far as writing Elizabeth receiving Harry's letter yet, but I do like your suggested line Smile.

Many thanks for your feedback!

Lady A
**

Tanydwr posted a comment on Saturday 15th September 2007 4:37am

Good. I like the change in threat regarding Elizabeth Ramsay.

Oh, and it's Downing Street, not Dowling Street, where the Prime Minister lives. Usually referred to very officially and properly and occasionally mockingly as 'Number Ten, Downing Street', or casually as Number Ten.
Lol, Tanydwr

Lady Alchymia replied:

I'm glad you liked it :).  And thanks for the tip!

Lady A

Ken Warner posted a comment on Friday 7th September 2007 12:50pm

quite different from V1, but Harry and Remus do seem to be closer, and more real here

thanks

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you, Ken!  It certainly is very different from the earlier version!

Harry and Remus's developing relationship hasn’t really changed as regards my internal perception of their states of mind, but my ability to translate what’s in my head onto the page – making their journey more convincing for people who don’t happen to be able to read my mind – that certainly has changed ;), so thank you very much for that!

Lady A

Ann posted a comment on Sunday 26th August 2007 5:12pm

This is a wonderful story. I can't wait for the next update

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you very much, Ann!

Lady A

beauty01021 posted a comment on Sunday 26th August 2007 12:47pm

yeah great chaptercan't wait for more so please udpate again and soon.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you kindly.

Lady A

applesollie posted a comment on Sunday 26th August 2007 7:17am

OK good so far. I'm not a hundred percent sold on the new version yet...just please don't take out all the Aussie bits, the Castle still rules.

Lady Alchymia replied:

LoL The Castle *does* rule!  I'll see what I can manage :).

Lady A

romero posted a comment on Sunday 26th August 2007 6:55am

You give a realistic picture of Harry dealing with the heartbreaking loss of Sirius. Remus trying to be Harry's new guardian is touching.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you most kindly, Romero.  With Sirius, it's as much as the loss of the idea of him as the man himself.  Someone for whom Harry is everything as much as the other way around.  I adore Remus, and he certainly is trying hard, but he has a few of his own demons to contend with.  What I'm really enjoying at the moment is exploring how they each try to protect the other.

Many thanks for your feedback!

Lady A

PadyandMoony posted a comment on Sunday 26th August 2007 3:46am

I really liked this changes. They make the story flow better.

Lady Alchymia replied:

I'm really pleased to hear that, thanks very much!

Lady A

Memory King posted a comment on Friday 24th August 2007 5:25pm

Interesting, looking forward to more.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you kindly, Trevor!

Lady A

PadyandMoony posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 3:57pm

"Yanked into a vortex of nothingness, Harry became a very square peg being ferociously sucked through a small, round hole. Vomited back into reality, he bore the indignity of needing to cling to Lupin a while longer"

I liked this description better than the one in Canon.
I think you did a great job. You kept the important points and you managed to introduce Elizabeth earlier. That's good because in Vrsion 1 she kind of seemed to pop out of nowhere and here you prepare us a little.
Great work. I cried at the end.

Lady Alchymia replied:

I so appreciated your comments, thank you!

PadyandMoony: I liked this description [Apparition] better than the one in Canon.

LadyA: Really?  Wow, thanks :).

PadyandMoony: I think you did a great job. You kept the important points and you managed to introduce Elizabeth earlier. That's good because in Vrsion 1 she kind of seemed to pop out of nowhere and here you prepare us a little.

LadyA: I really appreciate you saying that, thank you!  I never even realised there were things called Mary-Sues when I started writing the story (and that *every* unknown character was considered one until proven otherwise LoL).  I'm learning -- slowly :P.

PadyandMoony: Great work. I cried at the end.

LadyA: Oh my goodness, did you really?  That's wonderful!  (I just read that back -- I hope you know what I mean LoL).

Thank you very much.

Lady A

Kira Bouviea posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 3:43pm

Absolutly fantastic.

Though I do worry for Harry's mental state. What pairings are you planing for this?

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you kindly, Kira!

Harry's mental state is certainly worth worrying about -- I'm glad you're feeling for him.

Pairings?  Terrible question.  Next?  LoL.  I think you'll find not much has changed on the pairings from the first version, let's just put it that way.

Cheers!

Lady A

applesollie posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 2:39pm

Ok Lady this is hard as I like your stuff.I was sad to see the music thing go, but the added on phone calls freaking Petunia out was cool.

Lady Alchymia replied:

I sympathise on the music!  It felt so good to write about (but it hasn't gone completely -- you'll see a few (new!) little musical moments coming up in the next few chapters).   The piano was always one of those things that supported the plot, but could be cut without really changing it.  I'm glad you liked the phone calls :).

Cheers!

Lady A

beauty01021 posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 11:06am

yeah great chapter can't wait for more so please update again and soon.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Thank you.

Lady A

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 8:37am

Looking forward to the rewrite, and to see where things go from here on out, and what minor and major differences come of this.

Lady Alchymia replied:

Cool :).  It's feels odd working on it because there's so much of a butterfly effect with certain changes.  Some things that seem so hard to get to the first time around now feel a lot easier (and vice versa!).

Thanks for reading.

Lady A 

jrma91 posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 7:08am

Glad to read the first chapter of Awakenings V2!!

Nice solid start to the story, looking foward to future chapter!

Regards
jrma91

Lady Alchymia replied:

That's lovely to hear, thank you very much!

Lady A